menubar

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Bob Dobbs’ Diaries: June 17/1987 (Toronto)



Myke Dyer (broadcasting on CKLN-FM, 88.1): As regular listeners to my show here at CKLN know, I have been playing tapes from the Church of the SubGenius the last few weeks. At the same time, listeners know that Bob Marshall's show, The International Connection, has been taken off the air here at the station. Well, surprise, surprise, the two seemingly unconnected events, unbeknownst to me, have a meaning none of us could have foreseen. It turns out that J. R. “Bob” Dobbs, the mascot of the Church, was not assassinated on January twenty-first, nineteen eighty-four, has left Dallas, has resurfaced in Toronto, and is sitting across from me in the studio. Good evening, sir.

Dobbs: Good evening, Myke... good evening, Mr. Mulroney... good evening, Mr. Bobby Fulford. In the broadest sense your introduction is true, but in the particulars I want to make a few adjustments. I am Bob Dobbs, not J. R. “Bob” Dobbs--J. R. is a cartoon version of me that I inspired back in February of 1978. I have nothing to do with the creation of the Church of the SubGenius per se, nor with any of its commercial activities such as the tapes you've been playing. In fact I left Dallas in nineteen eighty-two after the failed attempt to start Nuclear War One. I've been skulking around Toronto for about four years now spending more time with my wife, Connie, who has been living in Toronto the last nine years.

Dyer: And you know Bob Marshall?

Dobbs: Yes, after I met him here in Toronto, I encouraged him to create a show on CKLN. I continued to advise him behind the scenes as his show became a success and assumed a high profile in Toronto. But thanks to the Iran-Contra hearings in Washington and other events, I decided that Bob Marshall should step aside and I make my move to reveal my long-planned agenda.

Dyer: And because you've impressed me over the last week with your credentials, I've made a tentative commitment to assist you with your plan even though I don't fully understand it, yet. I am not guaranteeing you anything. We'll just see how it goes. I'm as curious as the listeners probably are.

Dobbs: I sincerely appreciate that, Myke. So let's get the ball rolling.

Myke then played some excerpts from one of the Media-Barrage audio tapes composed by Church members, and at various points Myke stopped the tape and allowed Bob to explain the real knowledge that inspired these hallucinated interpretations of Dobbs.

No comments: